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    Wanna feel the reassuring whirring of a compact disc in your walkman? Hold history in your hands! Believe that it's the nineties all over again, while enjoying Sage and Jared's Happy Gland Band's first album, Flooded Away.

    And just so as you feel connected to the racing pace of this digital world, we're including an immediate download of the album with the purchase of the CD.

    Buy this beatiful, mostly eco-friendly (zero cabon footprint, no shrink wrap), real live metal substance encased in plastic substance encased in packaging covered in beautiful art by the lovely Tamarind King. (Hire her to make art for you! She's the bomb! She's also an animator! Tamarind.King@gmail.com)

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about

Flooded Away is Sage and Jared’s Happy Gland Band’s first recording, recorded in 2013 at the Retreat Studios in Albuquerque, NM and mastered by Elephonic Recording Studios.

credits

released October 27, 2013

©2014 Sage Harrington / Jared Putnam / Goat Soap Society
Written by Sage Harrington (ASCAP)

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all rights reserved

about

Sage and Jared's Happy Gland Band Albuquerque, New Mexico

Sage and Jared’s Happy Gland Band is a band of whimsy and unbridled glandulosity. It’s a band that will make you reconsider how grossed out you are about the endocrine system. Sage plays ukulele. Jared plays upright bass. Their glistening songs of mundanity, desecration, celebration, and perspiration appear on their CD, Flooded Away. ... more

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Track Name: I Am Gonna Put Some Pants On
I am gonna put some pants on
Yes, siree, I’m gonna put some pants on
I am gonna put some pants on
As a way of starting up my day

I’m gonna put some coffee in my system
Some creamy, sugared coffee in my system
I’m gonna put some coffee in my system
As a way of starting up my day

Will I laugh or will I weep
Sigh, fall back asleep
Will I call Ma up on the phone
Make soup with an old ham bone

Well, I guess we’ll see, but most importantly

I am gonna put some pants on
Some checkered? sequined? cut-off? pleated? pants on
I am gonna put some pants on
as a way of starting up my day
Track Name: Little Kid
You don’t know a lot there, little kid
You don’t know what Mom and Daddy did
Before belly ballooned and baby cried
Back when you were twinkling in their eyes
And you don’t even know what twinkles are
Cause I don’t mean twinkle, twinkle like the star

There were bars and they were groovy, lots of carefree rented movies
There was music, there was singing, oh those times they were a-swinging
I want a piece of that fun
Ready or not, here I come
Track Name: Ant Song
When cities of ants look for love, it’s love they’re bound to find
When cities of love look for ants, they’ve got a different axe to grind

When ants are crawling speedy on a public picnic table
Or gather on the pavement in the shape of old Clark Gable
They’re looking for something they’ve been unable to find
In the astroturf we’ve laid for them, they’ve got a better axe to grind

When ants travel deep ant channels and turn our sidewalks into highways
And when we step over sideways, turning highways into byways
I think we’ll find in orange rinds these ants are better than kind
I think we’ve found our findings still, we’ve got a better axe to grind

When ants gather, closing in on our sunny picnic lunch
Will they save the deviled eggs and lemonade for tomorrow’s brunch
And will they wonder, wandering about in a turkey sandwich maze
What exactly caused their tryptophan-induced haze
Do you think this is exactly what they had in mind
Maybe they perhaps have a different axe to grind

Are you happy, little ant?
Do you have a forty-hour work week?
Do you do anything for fun?
These are the things I want to know
These are the things that come to me slowly
These are the things have been unanswered, wholly, by holy men of yore

Ants build ant cities under sidewalks with entrances in sidewalk cracks
They pile dust in little piles and little stones in little stacks
We’d love to go and visit to see the rooms that they have designed
But, my dears, I fear we’ve got a different axe to grind

When ants romance each other do they profess their love on tire swings
And do they feel their own hearts flutter in like painted fairy wings
Does an ant give gifts of anty love to her anty mate
Like daisy pollen or rose petals found nearby a garden gate
Would anty lovers eat chocolate cake with chocolate icing or cake of another kind
There’s just no telling, perhaps they’ve got a different axe to grind

Are you happy, little ant?
Do you have a forty-hour work week?
Do you do anything for fun?
These are the things I want to know
These are the things that come to me slowly
These are the things have been unanswered, wholly, by holy men of yore

When ants are climbing blades of grass or taller, ten-foot trees
Does the wind blow them away, are they floored by the scent of breezy peonies
Do they admire yellow daffodils or the cobblestone walkways they’ve designed
There’s just no telling, perhaps they’ve got a different axe to grind
Track Name: Flooded Away
If we don’t get flooded away
Things will go on as they have always
If we don’t get flooded away
Things will still be as they are today

But if things get flooded away
We can row through the rooftops, through the treetops, over corn crops
In a gondola playing an Italian song
Squeezing a squeezebox and rowing along

If we don’t get flooded away
Things will go on as they have always
But if things get flooded away
We’ll get out our dolphin fins, our boogie boards, and all those noodles

If we don’t get flooded away
Things will go on as they have always
If we don’t get flooded away
Our rabbits will still munch on their brunch of sweet hay

If we don’t get flooded away
Things will go on as they have always
If we don’t get flooded away
Things will still be as they are today

If we don’t get flooded away
Things will go on as they have always
If we don’t get flooded away
Our rabbits will still munch on their brunch of sweet hay
I we don’t get flooded away
Our rabbits will still munch on their lunch of sweet hay
Our rabbits will still dine on their dinner of sweet hay
Our rabbits will still sup on their supper of sweet
Track Name: DIE! DIE! DIE!
Would you cry cry cry if I die die die
Would you bawl bawl bawl if I fall off a wall
Would you weep weep weep if I leap leap leap
From a steep steep cliff into the deep

Would you frown frown frown if I drown drown drown
Would you feel just fine if I drank strychnine
Would you feel alright, could you sleep at night
If I just up and died out of spite

When I’m dead dead dead will your heart be filled with dread
When I’m rotten rotten rotten, will I only be forgotten
When I decompose will you place a rose on my grave where forever I shall doze

Would you be concerned if I burned burned burned
Would you laugh laugh laugh if I cut myself in half
Would you call my mom if they dropped the atom bomb
Would you cry cry cry if I die

Would it matter matter matter if I fell off a ladder
And I shatter shatter shatter every bone in my back
With a crack crack crack and a moan and a groan
If I broke every, broke every bone

If I got sick sick sick would you stick stick stick
Stick around with me if I got leprosy
And I lost all my toes and my fingers and my nose
Would you stick around or say adios

When I’m dead and gone will your heart go on
Like Celine Dion’s in that stupid song
When I’m ashes in the urn will your heart still yearn
Will glowing embers of eternal undying love in your soul forever burn

Would you care care care if I got mauled by a bear
Would it bring you to tears if a bat bit off my ears
Would you feel remorse if I got trampled by a horse
Would you cry cry cry, please don’t lie lie lie
Would you cry cry cry when I die
Track Name: Soap Floats
Soap floats in the bathtub
Soap floats in the sink
Soap floats in the washbasin
Why is that you think

Could it be because of the lanolin
Could it be because of the lye
Could it be because of the chemical reaction that occurs
When these are combined

At the proper temperature and proportion, of course

What do you do when soap doesn’t float
What do you do when it doesn’t float
What do you do when soap doesn’t float
What do you do

Soap floats in the bathtub
Soap floats in the sink
Soap floats in the washbasin
Why is that you think

Just call the folks at Ivory up and ask them ask them why
Ask them why their soap floats
Ask them if they tried

What do you do when soap doesn’t float
What do you do when it doesn’t float
What do you do when soap doesn’t float
What do you do
Track Name: Stroke My Ego
Stroke my ego when we go out together
Tell me I’m the cutest boy you’ve ever seen
Just tell me that I’m great and watch my head inflate
Until it nearly bursts with self-esteem

And when we go to Montego Bay this summer
I will let you hold my hand and touch my hair
I shall gaze into your eyes and then I’ll realize that
All I see is my own reflection in there

Stroke my ego, stroke my ego
You can stroke it, stroke it, stroke it all day long
Stroke my ego, stroke my ego
Start by telling me how much you love this song

Oh, my darling dearie dashing dandy doodle
You’re so brave, so strong, so brash and self-assured
If it weren’t for these things and your gifts of diamond rings
Such arrogance could never be endured

If Narcissus were here with us, he’d call you vain
As your sense of self-importance knows no bounds
But how my heartstrings did unfurl when you bought that string of pearls
Now you very presence makes my heart begin to pound

Stroke your ego, stroke you ego
I will stroke it, stroke it, stroke it every day
Stroke your ego, stroke your ego
I’ll even tell you that I like your new toupee, hip hip hooray
Track Name: Walking
Walking slowly, walking lonely
Walking in a circle or two
Walking slowly, walking lonely
Walking through a place in your view

I’m a little shy and spittle
Always seems to fly from my mouth
I’m a little shy and spittle
Always seems to make things go south

You’re a kind one, you’re a blind one
One who doesn’t understand these allusions
You’re a kind one, you’re a blind one
One who intensifies this confusion

So we’ll see what it’ll be
Who do you love freely
Could it be me?

I’m a shy one, I’m a sly one
I’ve the face of an ocelot cat
I’m a shy one, I’m a sly one
Did you think that I didn’t know that

Walking slowly, walking lonely
Walking in a circle or two
Walking slowly, walking lonely
Walking through a place in your view
Track Name: Walking Along The Railroad Tracks
Walking along the railroad tracks
With my guitar slung on my back
Watching the sun peek from behind a cloud

Walking along the railroad tracks
With my guitar slung on my back
Watching the deer dart behind the trees

And I say, oh, living life is easy
When you’re only feeling smooth and breezy
You got that, oh, don’t you go get queasy
It is only a little hammock, swinging breezy

Rocking along in my chair
Knitting up some long underwear
While the crickets sing of cornbread and chili

Picking the meat off of chicken bones
Licking on an ice-cream cone
While the corn in the field grows as high as your eye

And I say, oh, living life is easy
When you’re only feeling smooth and breezy
You got that, oh, don’t you go get queasy
It is only a little hammock, swinging breezy

Walking along the railroad tracks
With my guitar slung on my back
While the grasshoppers hop from track to track, keeping time

Walking along the railroad tracks
With my guitar slung on my back
While a big orange sun sneaks behind the horizon

And I say, oh, living life is easy
When you’re only feeling smooth and breezy
You got that, oh, don’t you go get queasy
It is only a little hammock, swinging breezy
Track Name: Boiling Black Oceans
The boiling black oceans gave birth to a beast
It lurked in dark waters in relative peace
Alone but not lonesome, yet trapped in its cell
It floated on foam as the meteors fell

The creature grew bored, didn’t know what to do
So feeling divisive it split into two
Two beasts in the ocean, not knowing what for
And knowing no better, they split into four

The four turned to eight and the eight to sixteen
Next thing you know the black ocean is green
Life came from nothing or so it would seem
Is there some greater purpose, or all just a dream

The octopus sat there just trying to think
Then he got an idea but had run out of ink
The porcupine paid all the platypodes’ bills
When he signed the last check he had run out of quills

The elephant’s yard sale had nothing but junk
For he had no more room for it left in his trunk
And Joey was told not to jump on the couch
Or his momma would make him go back in his pouch

Telling prehensile tales of vestigial whales
Appendices fails, nipples on males
Some things evolve while some others dissolve
Meanwhile the planets never cease to revolve

The boiling black oceans gave birth to a beast
It lurked in dark waters in relative peace
Alone but not lonesome, yet trapped in its cell
It floated on foam as the meteors fell
Track Name: ZANZIBAR!
I want to go where the red winds blow in ZANZIBAR!
I want to stay where the mermaids play in ZANZIBAR!
Show me the way to a gay cafe in ZANZIBAR!
We’ll dance the night away in ZANZIBAR!

I bought a martini for the only wahini in ZANZIBAR!
She was an out of place Hawaiian who was trying to find a guy in ZANZIBAR!
She took me by the hand as we walked on the sand in ZANZIBAR!
That night I fell in love in ZANZIBAR!

Next day I woke in a fisherman’s boat in ZANZIBAR!
With eyes that were red and a pain in my head in ZANZIBAR!
I looked all around, she was nowhere to be found in ZANZIBAR!
I hung my head and cried in ZANZIBAR!

She took my phone so I couldn’t call home from ZANZIBAR!
She took all my cash and left me with a rash in ZANZIBAR!
I feel so sad and blue, I don’t know what to do
Never again I’ll go to ZANZIBAR!
Track Name: Selene
Selene, you beautiful, wondrous thing you
Selene, you who light up the night sky according to schedule
Selene, I’m powerless, shepherdless, helpless, and hopeless before you
Oh, Selene, you have taken the one I love away from me

We were walking underneath the harvest moon
We were talking about starting our own baby boom
When a shaft of moonlight fell upon his face
Well, Selene, that’s the moment that I wish I could erase

Cause you decided that you wanted him for your own
And now I’ve got no shepherd to tend our little flock at home
He went walking on his own one moonlit night
Now I fear that he’ll never come back, cause you took him away, took his beautiful face from my sight

I’m gonna give that lemon moon a cup of sweet mint tea
So she’ll bring me baby back to me
A pot of grits with cheese, some braised turnip greens
A pumpkin pie with hand-churned ice cream
Selene, tell me, what do you want from me
I’ve never before had to deal with lunar kidnapping

Now I go walking and shake my fist up at the moon
Near that hillside where we caused my belly to bloom
I been searching in the moonlight for your face
Well, Selene, tell me what you’d do if you were in my place

Cause I decided long ago he was my own
That’s why I want my only shepherd to come back home
I go walking, see moonlight on your sleeping face
But I can’t get you back, no, you’ll never wake up, cause she’s tied you to this place

I’m gonna give that lemon moon a little piece of my mind
Nobody takes my baby where I can’t find him
I wander up that hillside on every moonlit night
I hold my lovely sleeping shepherd real, real tight
Selene, tell me, why’d you do this to me, make my baby sleep on a hillside perpetually

We were walking underneath the harvest moon
We were talking about starting our own baby boom
When a shaft of moonlight fell upon your face
Well, Selene, that’s the moment that I wish I could erase
Track Name: While the Wind Blows
You long for the days of sunshine and rain
Reading books on the rooftop, feet stuck with roof grains
Sweet weight of sleep pulling your eyes
Droning of heater, fridge, and flies

Don’t know what it meant, but the scenery creeps in
In through the cracks of the windows
But you needn’t worry, cause on the weekends
You get to sleep in while the wind blows

The curtains that billow and float in the breeze
Cattails that bend with the tadpoles and geese
Catalpas at nighttime give birds their small beds
And frogs sing the same song that they always have

Don’t know what it means, but the scenery crept in
You tasted the grass through the window
It lived in your room and sang to you sweet
And you would sleep in while the wind blows

Fireflies light up pockets of night
Drift over cornfields, bob during flight
Caught them in hand, put them in jars
Placed upon nightstand, twinkling stars

You’ll lie in wait as the scenery creeps in
You’ll let it in through the window
Midmorning sunshine and grasses, come in
And you will sleep in while the wind blows